Unbelievable! But, Boffins really do exist!

Angus and I were watching Antiques Roadshow on TV last night. We enjoy hearing about the objects that people bring along and are often in awe of what some of these things are worth.

Billy Connolly spoke once of the kind of person that Angus and I witnessed on TV last on Antiques Roadshow. He refers to them as Boffins - "people who bore the crap out of others as they are fascinated by and know an incredible amount about some boring thing that no one else gives a shit about!" A Boffin. Billy reckons that these people are often told to "f**k off", a phrase that he thinks should always be on everyone's lip anyway, just waiting to be served.

Anyway, Angus and I have never met a Boffin and hope we never do. There was a man who was talking to one of the Antique experts, he produced a little box with a clear lid. Inside he had two old train tickets, they dated back to the 1800's. Angus and I listened as this guy explained, "waffle waffle, blah blah" and then he said "Two tickets for dogs". What? "I collect train tickets for dogs and I've been collecting them for years. Oh my good god! "And I have a matching pair here"

This guy only collects old train tickets for dogs! This is what I mean, a boring thing that no one cares or really wants to know about. I didn't know that a dog required a train ticket back in the 1800's, so I guess I learnt something there. The expert was very polite, but I have to wonder, did he quietly think "We've got a right one here". Train tickets for dogs collector, just when I thought I'd seen it all. Dear lord!

Leave me alone to walk along the street without accosting me! Ahhhhhh!

This morning I had a dentist appointment. I go once a year, have the usual, a clean, descale, tartar removed. Off I trotted afterwards feeling great, sunny day, dentist said I had great teeth that she could see that I took care of. Yah!

I drove back to Puke and decided that I would nip into town and get a haircut. Important to look neat and tidy to return to work next week. After my haircut, I stopped into Subway and got a sandwich of the day to take home. Then I wandered back along the street with sandwich in hand, window shopping, very calm and enjoying the sunshine.

Then it happened! "Excuse me mam." Who am I? The Queen? Young guy in his 20's is waving a book in my face. Oh geez, a bible basher! I ducked around him, sometimes its better to say nothing and keep walking. This guy wasn't going to be ignored. So he tried again. "Are you working or shopping?" Grrr, what business is it of yours buddy? I must be turning very intolerant in my old age (nearly 39), because I turned on him. "I'm not interested!" Probably an over-reaction, but he pissed me off.

The accosting doesn't end. There were two of them. It happened again as I was standing at a crossing waiting to cross the road. Another guy, waving a piece of paper. "Excuse me Miss". This guy didn't stand a chance. "Look! I'm not interested!"

I marched, not walked, marched back to my car, my sunny, calm mood shattered. I know people have to sell things, but stop accosting people in the damn street! Can't they open a shop or set up a table with things to sell? If it interests me, I'll stop and look. Pushy people immediately put me off, they could be selling something really good, but get in my face and try to push something, I switch off.

A lousy ending to a pleasant morning on a sunny day, I thundered back to my car with a storm cloud over my head.

MS and Me

Having Multiple Sclerosis means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand Multiple Sclerosis and its effects. Of the people who think they know, many are misinformed. In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand... these are the things I would like you to understand about me ...

Please understand that just because I have Multiple Sclerosis doesn't mean I am not still a human being. Some days I spend in extreme exhaustion. At times, sleeping for fourteen hours is all that will alleviate my symptoms. I get so tired. These emotions are all very strong and powerful. If you talk to me, and I might not seem like much fun to be with, remember I am still me. I am just stuck inside this body. I still worry about work, home life, my family and friends.

Please understand that Multiple Sclerosis is unpredictable. One day I may be able to do anything, while the next I may have trouble getting out of bed. Please don't attack me when I'm having a bad day by saying, "But you did it before!!" Please understand that sometimes being able to stand for ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday, doesn't mean I will be able to do the same today. This disease gets more confusing.

Multiple Sclerosis isn't all in my head, and it isn't contagious. Nobody ever died from Multiple Sclerosis though they might have wished they could on really bad days. I can't control how often I feel good or how often I feel terrible. Multiple Sclerosis is a condition with lots of different kinds of symptoms. There is no cure for Multiple Sclerosis, and it won't go away. If I am functioning normally, I am having a good day. I can have good days, weeks or even months. But a good morning can suddenly turn into a terrible afternoon. I get a feeling like someone has pulled out a plug and all my energy has just run out of my body. I might get more irritable before these flare ups and suddenly become more sensitive mentally and physically. Other times there may be no warning. I may just suddenly feel awful. I can't warn you when this is going to happen because there isn't any way for me to know. Sometimes this is a real downer, and I'm sorry. If I seem touchy at times, it's probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you understand. I have been and am still going through a lot. Multiple Sclerosis is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and mind. It is exhausting and I am doing my best to cope with this, and I live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me and accept me as I am. I know you cannot understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as possible, I am asking you to try to be understanding.

Please understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy." When you have the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I have a condition that doesn't leave. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. Just because I sound good, doesn't mean I feel good. I make myself be happy. That's all. It doesn't mean that I'm not in pain or extremely tired. It doesn't mean I am getting better or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding good!" or "Oh, you look good!" I am not sounding good, I am sounding happy. Because I feel bad at times, I am always pushing myself, and sometimes I push myself too hard. When I do this, I normally pay the price. Emotionally and physically I pay a big price for overdoing it, but sometimes I have to. I have no choice. My limitations, like my pain and my other symptoms are invisible, but they are there.

With Multiple Sclerosis, myelin, which is the covering that protects your nerves, deteriorates. Look at it as your nerves being an electrical wire, and wires have protective covering. If the covering is removed, the wire gets a short in it. This is the case with Multiple Sclerosis patients. Your nerves are a wire. The myelin can replace itself, but during the time it has deteriorated and the nerve is exposed, damage is done to the nerves in my body and this damage is not reversible. Thus, causing numbness, pain, tingling and other feelings.

If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don't. I appreciate the thought. It's not because I don't want to get well. If there were a cure, all people with Multiple Sclerosis would know about it. Telling me I need to exercise more or that I just need to lose weight may frustrate me to tears and it is not correct. I work with a doctor and he tells me what to do for my condition.

In so many ways I may depend on you...people who are not sick. I may need you to call and check on me. I might need you to help me do things every now and then. You are my link to "normalcy" of life since I will never be normal again until a cure is found. As much as it's possible, I need you to understand me.

People with Multiple Sclerosis have different kinds of pains and feelings that are hard to treat. It is not a constant ache in one place like a broken bone. It moves around my body daily and hourly and changes in severity and type. Sometimes it is jabbing and excruciating. Sometimes it is prickly or numb. At times it feels as though electrical shocks are going through the extremities of my body.

Another symptom I have is problems with memory and concentration. This one is very scary. I may tell you something, and thirty minutes later tell you the same thing. Please don't say, "You already told me that." I also might be trying to tell you something and use a wrong word instead of the word I should have used. This is very embarrassing and aggravating, but normal for people with Multiple Sclerosis. It is a very frightening symptom.

All these symptoms and the chemicals in my brain can get me depressed as you would imagine. I get angry, frustrated and I have mood swings. Sometimes it may seem I am being unreasonable, but I can't admit it. I know this is a very hard thing about being with me. Every time you put up with me when I am in one of my moods, I am secretly grateful. I can't always admit it at the time, but I am admitting it now.

I've had children and I appear to have lost my brain in the process!

I am always astounded at the lack of duty of care that some parents have when it comes to the safety of their children. The other day I was putting my groceries in the boot of the car at Pak n Save. As I was coming out of the supermarket I observed a women and her three children standing talking to some old duck. All good, maybe she's catching up with a family friend.

What shocked me was that while mum is chatting to the old girl, her children are milling around the shopping trolley. The shocker is that they aren't standing on the footpath, they are standing right in the middle of the carpark! Cars drive through a carpark and this silly woman is standing yapping to someone with no concern for the safety or welfare of her kids!

I continued to load my groceries into the car, thinking "she isn't that stupid, she will move" Er, no. I reversed out of the my parking space and stopped. I thought that woman is going to see me and move her family. Wrong! She continues talking and I tooted as I wouldn't be able to proceed until she moved herself and her children out of the way. The glare I received in return as she hastily moved herself, I could not believe. Excuse me for driving my car in a supermarket carpark! Beyond belief!

The bigger the church, the better the faith? Hmmm?

Angus and I were driving home from doing the food shopping at Pak n Save yesterday. As we drove past the construction of a new catholic church I commented on how it appears to be growing in width as well as height. The little church that this new monster of a church is replacing used to be one of those cute, white churches. Small and modest.

I wondered when we got home and started unpacking the groceries, what is it with new churches that are being built? Does size matter? Does God hear you better in a larger church? The little church that used to be on that site looked adaquate to me. I'm not religious and if I offend those who are with this blog post; that is what I'll have to do, but isn't faith an internal, personal, modest expression. Do people need a huge arena for one day of the week? Let's face it, most attend church on Sunday far as I know. Does the size and height of the church help with the acoustics when singing the hymns?

Then I thought that maybe the congregation had won Lotto. Perhaps they can afford to build a huge, new church. But, I still have to question whether the size of the church you worship in is relevant to the depth of your faith? Or, maybe the congregation size has suddenly exploded and they were spilling out the doors in the little old church. If that is the case then of course a new larger church is required. Somehow, I am highly skeptical that size of dwelling to match the size of the congregation is the reason for this monstrosity is being constructed.

All over Auckland, the churches are huge. Is it a contest? The 'our church is bigger than the church down the road' mentality. I have heard that congregation members of some of these churches are fleeced for huge amounts of money to fund the construction of these 'houses of worship' and families suffer financially as a result.

If people believe in God I don't question their faith, each to their own. I just find myself questioning the relevance to the size of the arena that is needed to show the level of people's faith. To me, faith is a modest, private and people worship within their own home and church is attended in a small modest building. The construction of a huge, monstrosity church that resembles or tries to match the Vatacan does not seem relevant or necessary to me. Jesus was a modest man as far as I know.

Valuing what is important

I am starting to question lately what is really important in life? I am wondering where Angus and my life is heading and where we see ourselves in the future. I know wherever we end up, it's together. There is a part of me deep inside that is yearning for some simplicity and a slower pace of life.

I am growing increasingly disillusioned with urban life and the pace that it operates at. A lot of people's values seem focused on grabbing what they can in a monetary sense. Ok, I know money makes the world go round and life is pretty crap when you don't have enough of it. I believe if you are happy, content and have enough money for your essentials; plus a bit left over for extras, then shouldn't life be complete.

We am saving for a that rainy day, retirement fund is in place and ticking along and our bills get paid. I feel Angus and I do our bit and we are happy.

What is this Law of Attraction thing? What has happened to working for what you want and making plans? The Law of Attraction - put out the happy, positive vibe and it all falls in your lap. Hey, each to your own and people can believe what they want. But, I just can't buy into it. I've read a few books on the Law of Attraction and I'm not convinced.

There is strong part of Angus and I that wants to leave the urban rat-race and escape to the quiet rural life. It will take plotting and planning, and hard work. But isn't that the the way it works, what you put in, you get back.

Baby kiwi survives Northland drought | infonews.co.nz New Zealand's local news community

Baby kiwi survives Northland drought | infonews.co.nz New Zealand's local news community

Why can't we focus on saving these little guys?

Look at this little guy. They just look like the most innocent, harmless creatures to me. Kiwis, sooo cute! I watched a current affairs segment on Campbell Live last night about the plight of the Northern Kiwi, so sad.

There has been a drought in the northern most part of the North Island. The wee Kiwis are suffering. Baked, dry ground means no earthworms. This the kiwis favourite snack and a major part of their diet. The little kiwi is starving. Many are dying.

Thankfully there are kind conservation people up there who are helping these wee guys. I thought great, but what about the rest of New Zealanders and our government? Here they are focussing on global warming, reducing nuclear weapons, mining of the minerals, what about our National Icon. The Kiwi?

If we lose our National bird, we lose some of what gives this country our identity in the world. I'm going to see if there is a donation I can make to help these wee guys. Big Kiwis, let's help the little kiwis huh?

Brainfarts......... Doh!

Yesterday morning I woke up and had a brainwave about a topic for a blog. I lay in bed thinking about what I'd write, you know, planning it out. I got up as usual, helped my partner Angus off to work, made coffee, sat and watched the breakfast news. My morning routine.

Later on, I sat down at this laptop, and prepared myself to start writing my latest blog entry. I had been quite impressed with myself, two blogs in two days, I'm not a regular blogger. It is nice though when I get a hit of inspiration. Do you think I could remember the topic I had been thinking about in bed that morning? No..... Great!, I thought. Today's blog is about er....... I haven't got a bloody clue! At least I got something written yesterday, on a completely different tangent and topic, but I was proud of my effort.

In many readings and comments from fellow MSers (those of us in the MS club), the term Brainfart is used put a light-hearted spin on the cognitive problems us MSers experience. I have two scars on either side of the front of my brain. I remember sitting in my neurologists office well over 5 years ago looking at the results of my MRI scan and thinking, geez those are large parts of my brain. As with most things related to this disease, no one knows what causes it or any symptoms that go with it.

Brainfarts. Most people giggle when they hear me say that, but when you actually experience them, it is just damn frustrating! Seriously, it is like thoughts of what you are going to do or say just go poot! Like a little fart out your ear. Gone forever. They may return suddenly, usually too late. I can be sitting watching TV and suddenly look at Angus and make a completely out of context statement as the lost thought from hours ago has returned. Sometimes the thoughts just don't return.

I can forget something I was going to do walking across the kitchen from the bench to the fridge or pantry. Ask me what I was doing around this time 2 years ago and I could probably tell you. I have to wonder if those two scars have killed some of the short term memory or there's a shortage is the circuits somewhere.

It's like the visit to the neurologists office, I can remember that very vividly, long-term memory is working fine. The short-term, lost in mere minutes thoughts that allow me to function with everyday things, are the hardest thing to cope with MS. Memories from 5 years+ are no good to me, yes, I have some very pleasent memories from past events, but I would prefer to function better with the day to day stuff.

I haven't had a vent about MS in my blog yet. I had no intention of doing so this morning, but like much of my writing in my blog, the content just flows and I don't give a lot of thought to what I write as I am doing it.

I was talking about brainfarts with Angus last night and after forgetting something I was going to do in seconds again,I said "I think I'm getting worse!" Negative I know, but I get cross and frustrated with myself. He looked at me with those gentle grey eyes, full of love and made it all ok. "We both are babe" Bless him!

Deep Tissue Massage...... should I have fought back?

I am a habitual sloucher when sitting in one of the chairs in the lounge. In fact, my posture is crap full stop. I still remember my dad asking why I was sitting on my back when I was a teenager. Did I sit up straight? No. Typical teenager. "Yeah, yeah, dad lecturing me again".

I bought a Swiss ball last week to see if that would help me to sit up straight. It does work, I sit straight. But it doesn't alleviate the constant dull ache in my lower back. I am regreting the amount of slouching I have done believe me. "You were right Dad".

On Monday I went the Westfield Shopping Centre to get a massage. There is a small screened area in the middle of the mall where 3-4 very nice, respectful Chinese guys give you "the treatment". They know how to inflict, oops, I mean administer a deep tissue massage. I lay on the table and he went to work. Geez, did that man find some spots. I came away afterwards feeling somewhat beaten up, but with the ache eased quite considerably.

Today there is still an ache, its two days later, but I am wondering if it's just the deep bruising that lasts for a few days in the muscles after deep tissue massage.

Angus and I have been talking about how we should try having date night. We've been together 5 and 1/2 years, we need to focus on us more. I am going to suggest that the first date night takes place this Friday at a thermal hot pool not far from home. Romantic soak in a thermal hot pool - too soak away my creaks and groans!

Never take anything or anyone for granted.

After procrastinating for an hour this morning, I finally got my arse in gear, got in the car and went to the most pleasant place I know in Pukekohe. Bledisloe Park, its very pretty, flat and a provides a very nice location for a 30 minute trot (walk).

I was heading along John Street, singing badly in a low voice to the Travelling Wilburys that were playing in my headphones, yeah sad I know, but I love them, when a white station wagon comes reversing out of a drive at speed.

I scooted around the car successfully, he missed me by about 20cms. I shook my head and carried on, trying to look like nothing had happened. The guy stopped and apologised, checked I was ok, it was nice to see that he was aware he had nearly killed me.

As he drove away and I continued walking, I started to think and be thankful that I had told my Angus that I loved him that morning. He might never have seen me alive again. The reality that my "number could have been up" so suddenly and without warning shocked me a lot. Yeah, I was ok, the car never touched me physically, but I felt touched on the inside.

Angus and I tell each other we love each other every morning before we go to work. It's not just empty words, it's important to us, as there may never be another opportunity. One of us could be wiped out, as I came close to being today.

Coffee.......why all the fuss? Leave us innocent addicts alone.

There is plenty of hype about coffee drinking. It leaves toxins in the body, increases cholesterol, keeps you up half the night, blah blah blah! Plenty of experts all telling us the terrible repercussions of drinking too much coffee.

There seems to be more positive advocates on the Internet for the drinking of 3-4 cups a day. I support a 3 cup a day habit, sometimes 4 on a low energy day. Hey! I gave up smoking nearly 6 years ago and as I age I can't seem to handle more than two glasses of wine before I turn squiffy! She can't handle her booze like she used to. Coffee, it's my last remaining vice!

I have been influenced in the past by the boggy men or women of the dieting world, GIVE UP COFFEE, ITS BAD FOR YOU! So, I have given it a go. The headaches. Saying they are not pleasant is an understatement. Not to mention, there's a slight shaking of the hands. I remember mentioning these symptoms to a work colleague. I received a look from this person that equalled me confessing to having just given up heroin. "Sounds like an addiction to me" she said. Needless to say my attempts to give up coffee last less than a day and I willingly return to my favourite beverage.

DECAFF. Dear lord, what is the point? Ok, some people argue and say "Its the just the same if you like the taste of coffee". I have been inflicted with the odd coffee of decaf when I was offered it, and there wasn't the real option available. To me it seems that they have not only removed the caffeine, but the favour and taste as well. It just isn't the same.

My first coffee of the day. Ok, there may be the habitual, 'must have' feeling when I first get up in the morning, but that first coffee it seems to settle my body and mind, gets me going in the morning.

When Angus asks me "Coffee dear?", its like asking me if I would like some extra oxygen today? To me coffee is an elixir of life!

The Senses Of Happiness

Happiness looks golden, sparkling and full of sunshine.

Happiness sounds like bells ringing, birds singing and
children laughing.

Happiness feels like a smile from someone you love, clean
sheets when you climb into your bed at night and a pat on
the back from your teacher when you've done well at school.

Happiness tastes like a hot milo to drink on a cold night,
your favourite ice cream and chocolate.

Happiness smells like freshly baked cake from the oven,
flowers and Mum's perfume when she gives you a cuddle.

Was the dishonesty worth it?

Jeremy watched him walk away and wondered if the lie had been worth it? He was his best friend. Maybe he should have said yes when Sam asked him to the cricket game. Jeremy hated cricket, personally he would rather watch paint dry. Boring!

He felt so bad as he watched Sam walk away. To make it worse, he knew that Sam knew he had lied. Saying that he had to help his dad mow the lawn, what a lame excuse! Surely he could have come up with something better than that. Sam knew Jeremy never helped his dad mow the lawn. Why couldn't he just tell Sam he didn't like cricket? How hard was it tell your best friend that you didn't enjoy the game? He should have been honest. Surely Sam would have understood. Jeremy turned away and started walking towards home.

Sam was made about cricket. He played it in his backyard, he watched it on TV and he went to watch it at the weekends. Jeremy could not understand Sam's attraction to
the game. It was so slow, it took too long, and it just wasn't exciting.

Rugby. Now there was an exciting game. Jeremy and Sam had been to many rugby games together. The mud, the rucks, the scrums and the roar of the crowd when someone scored a try. Now that was an exciting game!

Jeremy stopped walking. Sam always said yes when he asked him to go to a rugby game. Had he ever been to a cricket match with Sam? No. Jeremy suddenly realised that he had been a bad friend. He turned and looked at his best friend's retreating back in the distance. Maybe it wasn't too late. He was allowed to change his mind.

"Hey Sam!" he yelled and started to run. "Wait up!" As Jeremy ran, he felt so relieved to see that Sam had stopped and he was still smiling.